"Floyd-isms"

My father, Floyd Davis, had a lot of, what I call, "Floyd-isms." What a "Floyd-ism" amounts to is one of the pithy little sayings that my father would utter that just came off-the-cuff without him even seeming to think much about it. They may or may not have been original. I'm quite certain that many were. Still, they are quotes that my daughter, family, friends, acquaintances and enemies here from me on a regular basis. Yes, I always give credit where it's due.

　
1. "If any way will do, then no way will do just as well."
At least one of my kinsmen says this is a family saying, and I don't doubt him, but I don't recall anyone, but my dad saying this. Meant for people, especially in church, who think it's all the same.

2. "I can't see through muddy water."

Usually said to me or one of my brothers, or even sometimes mom, if we got between dad and the football game on television.

3. "It tis as it tis and it ain't no tisser."

This remark was normally made when things just didn't go right.

4. "I don't have the energy to pull a greasy string out of a dog's butt."

This was said after a long, hard day's work.

5. "Root hog or die."
Do something! Nobody is going to help you; you are on your own.

6. "Are you bragging or complaining."

Said when someone was talking entirely too much about their former life before they became a Christian.

7. "You've got me convinced, now convince yourself."

" Methinks thou prosteteth too much." Yeah, that's how Shakespeare put it.

8. "From the Sublime to the ridiculous."

Always said to us boys when we came home from church and immediately turned on the television. He would, of course, then turn the T.V. off and run us outside.

9. "It's a poor woman that keep up one man."

Said about at least one of my brother's wives.

10. "He/she is a slob."

 "Slob" is not a word I just don't hear outside of my family.

11. "He/she wouldn't say 'shit' if he/she had a mouthful."

Said of people who take entirely too much pride in being prudish.

12. "Poor folks have got poor ways."

Said when we had to make a sub-standard purchase or no purchase at all due to finances. Also said of people who spend more than they can afford.

13. "My name is Davis, I hope you know yours." *

Dad's humorous way of re-introducing himself to people whom he obviously knows and who obviously know him.
14. "That just shickles the tit out of me!" *

Okay, this one should be obvious.
15. "You can wish in one hand and shit/piss in the other and see which gets full first." *

Don't worry about things you can't have or can't fix.

16. "You shake; I'm tired." *

One of Dad's humorous greetings used upon taking the hand of a friend or child.

17. "That dog barks just to hear his head roar!" *

This refers to a useless dog that barks for no reason or a person who does the same.

18. "God can't use a lazy man." *

Spoken to all of his boys at some point. Also said of other men.

 
I've no doubt there are many more "Floyd-isms" and I will add them as they come to mind.


* added